Close
Blog
We listen every day but what are we actually hearing and understanding? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say, “I’m a bad listener”. People happily admit shortcomings in other ways but they don’t seem to be particularly self aware of their listening capabilities.
Coaches practice deep listening as good coaching can’t happen without it. What is deep listening? The Institute of Executive Coaching and Leadership identifies four levels of listening:
If we aren’t hearing the data and facts that people are communicating then we aren’t listening at all. Are we hearing the emotion? There is always some emotion underneath the data and facts. The meaning of what is said is often deeper than the data, facts and emotion. Beyond that level, listening is also about what is not being said.
A good way to practice deeper listening is to become comfortable with silence. Silences do not need to be filled and nor do they need to be awkward. A trap can be simply listening to what someone is saying in order to reply. Pause and wait for more to be said. It is so often that the most important thing is said after a pause. Steal that pause and the meaning is lost. The gem that was about to be delivered evaporates!
Leaders who are committed to staying curious and being more engaged will naturally want to practice deeper listening in order to discern meaning and sense what is not being said. This may prompt an insightful and powerful question. Leaders in large and complex organisations are at risk of only listening at a surface level. This has very real implications for leadership effectiveness and has business impacts.
Deep listening is part of my job so it is something I think about a lot. It’s really also about everyone’s job and life in general. So much impact can be created by deep listening. I work with people on listening and love hearing the stories of the impact they created by listening more deeply.
If you’re ready to chat, I’m all ears! Let’s chat!
If you want to gain some surprising insights on listening, I recommend the work of Oscar Trimbole. I’m looking forward to reading his book.